Today’s cover image is of our sweet Rose as she waits for Reese to come back to the shore.
Uh, I don’t like to wait. Anyone that has watched my Snap Chat stories while I’m stuck on the James River Bridge during a lift can testify to this. Well…that isn’t 100% accurate. I don’t mind waiting if I never had any expectations about time to begin with. For example, if I go to Target to get some things and feel the freedom to be leisurely about it, I can wait in a line of 96 angry customers without a problem. If I tell myself that I have 30 minutes to get in and out, I will internally have a melt down if I’m pushing more than 32 minutes. True story.
This all goes back to my post about last week’s chapter – I like having a plan and sticking to the plan. I never pencil “wait” into my calendar. So, waiting can drive me crazy! But Lara wrote something that really stood out to me in this chapter:
“Waiting is a time of ripening.”
Dang. There it is. All of that time that I spend fighting against the periods of slow growth – or no growth! – have a purpose. Sometimes I need the delay to prepare and grow. She uses pregnancy as an example. Imagine if you found out you were pregnant and then had a baby the next day! Those nine months are necessary to prepare our body, prepare our minds, and prepare our homes for the change that is about to happen. Without the wait, we would be ill prepared for what is happening next.
It’s still hard. We are conditioned to want things immediately. That nice house? I want it now rather than working hard and saving like crazy. So I buy the house too soon and what should be a blessing is a burden because I didn’t give myself time to ripen financially. Or maybe I want to be a professional photographer, and I want to be one right now. So I buy all of this equipment that I don’t appreciate, and I oversale myself only to the disappointment of my clients and myself. All because I wasn’t willing to let my skills develop and grow. Maybe you want the shiny ring and big wedding. So you settle for a relationship that hasn’t been promised to you rather than waiting so that your heart can grow and mature to recognize your true partner.
Waiting has a purpose.
In my handout, I wrote that I’m still waiting for clarity on if/when/how Brad and I will grow our family. We’ve talked about having children through pregnancy, through adoption, or possibly hosting children for an exchange program. We’ve talked about what life would look like if we didn’t have any children of our own and how we could be a blessing to the children of those we love. We’ve talked about trying to have children in six months or trying in a few years. We’ve talked about it. A whole lot. No answer seems particularly bad or particularly good – just different choices with different outcomes. Perhaps this period of waiting is giving me a chance to cultivate myself first. How better a person I will be as I continue to work toward a more cultivated life. That better person – should she and her husband decide to have a family – will be more prepared for motherhood. And should that beautiful couple decide not to have children, that woman will have a better idea of what her path in life is meant to be. While I’m waiting, I have to develop a trust in the uncertainty. This period of unknowing has a purpose, regardless of how my impatient heart feels about it.
What are you waiting on? What is something that you are struggling to wait for and how can you interpret this waiting period as a time of ripening and preparation?